Loving People Even When They Test Your Sanctification

If there’s one thing Jesus could have warned us about a little more clearly, it’s that following Him means dealing with people. Not the easy ones. Not the “bless-your-heart-you’re-so-sweet” ones. No — we get the complicated ones. The loud ones. The ones who ask for advice and then do the opposite. The ones who seem to have a spiritual gift for getting on our nerves.

Family and community are beautiful… but also chaotic. Kind of like a church potluck where everyone brought casseroles and one person brought something unidentifiable in a slow cooker. You’re grateful. You’re blessed. But you’re also slightly worried.

The truth is, God didn’t design faith to be a solo sport. If He had, the Bible would be a lot shorter. Half of Scripture is instructions on how to treat each other, which tells you two things:

1. God cares deeply about how we love one another, and

2. Humans have apparently always struggled with it.

Community isn’t just the people who think like you, vote like you, worship like you, or have the same hobbies. It’s the whole messy, quirky, opinionated group of humans God intentionally placed in your orbit so you could learn patience, compassion, forgiveness, and—let’s be honest—when to keep your mouth shut.

Take family, for instance. Loving your family is a divine calling. It’s also an advanced spiritual endurance exercise. You know how the Bible says “love is patient”? That verse hits different when you’re repeating it to yourself while someone asks you the same question for the fourth time. Love is patient — painfully patient.
And love is kind… even when someone leaves their dishes in the sink “to soak” for 47 minutes.

Marriage? Beautiful gift from God. Also a mirror He uses to show you all the character flaws you were hoping no one would notice. Parenting? Sanctifying in ways you never imagined possible. Church involvement? Necessary and life-giving — but anyone who’s spent time serving knows that the Body of Christ includes a few people who feel called to offer “feedback” at all times.

But here’s the grace in all of it: family and community are where we learn to love like Jesus… because they’re where we’re forced to actually practice it.

Loving people when they’re lovable is easy. Anyone can do that. But loving people when they’re tired, stressed, annoying, or flat-out wrong? That’s where the Holy Spirit steps in like, “Okay, let Me help you before you say something you’ll regret.”

Christian community isn’t supposed to be picture-perfect. It’s supposed to be real. Friends who pray for you at midnight. A spouse who supports you even when you’re grumpy. Kids who remind you (accidentally) how much patience you still need. Church members who show up with casseroles when life falls apart. Neighbors who help you carry something heavy even though they don’t have to. Real love is found in those small moments.

God uses these relationships to grow us. He teaches us humility through miscommunication, compassion through conflict, gentleness through frustration, and forgiveness through hurt. Not because He enjoys watching us struggle (He doesn’t), but because love is something you learn by doing — not by reading.

And here’s the best part: as much as other people test your patience, you test theirs too. We’re all somebody’s lesson in grace. You may be the person someone else is praying about right now — hopefully in a good way.

If you want to grow spiritually, stay connected. Stay committed. Stay involved. Lean into community instead of away from it. God designed us to sharpen each other, support each other, and occasionally sanctify each other through friendly fire.

Family and community don’t make faith harder — they make it real. And real faith is the kind Jesus uses to transform lives, build churches, and heal hearts.