Forgiveness is one of those topics everyone nods along to… right up until they’re the ones who have to actually do it. It sounds noble in a sermon, looks beautiful on a Bible verse calendar, and feels completely doable—until someone hurts you in a way that leaves a mark. Then forgiveness doesn’t feel holy anymore. It feels unfair.
And yet, Scripture calls us to it repeatedly. Not because it’s easy, but because it’s essential. Forgiveness is less about excusing what happened and more about freeing your heart from the weight of carrying it.
So why does it feel impossible sometimes? One reason is that we tend to think forgiveness means pretending the pain didn’t matter. God never asks that. He never tells us to minimize what we went through. In fact, real forgiveness often begins with acknowledging just how deeply we were wounded. You can’t release something you refuse to admit is there.
Another reason forgiveness is difficult is because we want justice. We want the person who hurt us to understand exactly what they did, feel remorse, and apologize in a way that heals everything. But forgiveness can’t depend on someone else’s reaction—or lack of one. If your ability to heal relies on someone else changing, you’ll stay stuck every time. God invites us into a forgiveness that is between you and Him, not you and the person who wronged you.
The truth is, forgiveness isn’t a one-time emotional event. It’s a process. A repeating surrender. Some days you feel like you’ve moved past it, and the next day something triggers an old memory and suddenly you’re carrying the weight again. That doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re human. Forgiveness grows layer by layer, not all at once.
Jesus modeled forgiveness in ways that feel completely beyond our reach. He forgave while hanging on a cross, in agonizing pain, while the people responsible were still mocking Him. If anyone had a right to withhold forgiveness, it was Him. But He chose grace. Not because they deserved it, but because His heart was anchored in the Father’s will, not in human behavior.
When we forgive, we’re not saying, “What you did is fine.” We’re saying, “What you did will no longer control me.”
Forgiveness allows God to reclaim the space in your heart that hurt once occupied. Unforgiveness—and its close companions, bitterness and resentment—are masters at stealing peace. They replay the past over and over until it becomes the soundtrack of your daily life. And the longer bitterness sits, the more it distorts everything: your mood, your relationships, your joy, even how you see yourself.
God doesn’t ask us to forgive because He wants us to forget the seriousness of what happened. He asks because He knows the human heart wasn’t designed to carry poison. Bitterness always spills over into places it was never meant to go.
Sometimes forgiveness starts with a simple prayer: Lord, I don’t feel like forgiving. But I’m willing to let You soften my heart. That little bit of willingness is often all God needs to begin changing how you see things.
It also helps to remember that forgiveness doesn’t guarantee reconciliation. You can forgive someone fully and still recognize that it’s not wise, safe, or healthy to rebuild the same relationship. Peace doesn’t require proximity. Sometimes boundaries are part of forgiveness, not the opposite of it.
And as strange as it sounds, forgiveness is a mirror. When we extend grace to others, it reminds us of the immeasurable grace God has extended to us. None of us are spotless. None of us stand before God because we never hurt anyone. We stand because Jesus forgave us when we couldn’t fix anything ourselves.
At the end of the day, forgiveness is one of the most challenging calls God gives us—but it’s also one of the most freeing. It untangles your spirit from the past, clears space in your heart for God’s peace, and keeps you from becoming someone you were never meant to be.
Leave a Comment